The Crispy Goat

Three weeks left of my summer in the city. Today someone asked me if I liked it here and wanted to stay. I gave them the long answer: I love the level and intensity of training. I love the overall quality of theater. I love the public transportation and that you can walk everywhere. I love the park culture. I love the food. I really love the people. I do miss home though. But what it really boils down to here, more than any place I've experienced, is this city's overall passion for life. 

The other day, I had lunch at a grilled cheese shop. By myself and after a quick yelp search. I had the Crispy Goat - applewood smoked bacon, avocado, goat cheese and gruyere. Yeah, be jealous. Anyway, as I'm leaving, the guy behind the counter asks me how I liked it. (It was good.) "We take our grilled cheese very seriously here," he responded with smile. (Oh yeah?) "We don't cut corners. We use local bread, the best cheese. We want our grilled cheese to be the best. People come from all over just for this." He probably went on for two minutes, which is like half a day in NYC time.  

I dunno about you, but I'm not sure that I've met anyone ever so passionate about grilled cheese. But that's the way it is here - people fully commit to their passions, whatever they may be, and without apology. It was so inspiring. Really brings new light to the question, "Why do anything half-assed?" I wrote a poem about it. Enjoy:

The Crispy Goat. 
Photo retrieved from their Yelp page.

The Cheese Grille

There is power in Passion

For the Grilled Cheese Sandwich -

To approach it as an Art,

With Dignity and Respect. 

To select each Slice, 

To test each Transformation,

And to Caress such result

With each sense of your Soul

So that you Grow and Transform 

With the Sandwich itself. 

If life were to be treated 

As such a Grilled Cheese Sandwich -

Life would be worth living indeed. 

Whoda thunk. Sometimes, its the most simple things in life that can reveal the most depth. 

And as though the universe was really speaking to me, I'll conclude with a slice from a Backstage article that appeared in my inbox shortly after this experience:

"Happiness is not sustained with the attainment of what you seek, but in the passionate seeking of it, for in that seeking life gains purpose. Something once sought but now possessed quickly looses its ability to satisfy because the heart soon longs for something new for which to strive, for a new purpose. 

In other words, if you want to make someone truly miserable and bored, give them everything they want the instant they want it. If you want to make someone truly happy, allow them to pursue each of their heart’s new desires."

Noises On

Prepare thyselves, friends. I'm about to blog like a mad woman.

New York City has an energy unlike any place I have ever been. There's constant stimulation, no matter where you are. The city that never sleeps. I feel so lucky now to be living in a very quiet neighborhood in Queens, but my first two weeks in Manhattan I simply couldn't sleep through the night. Granted it doesn't help that I kept my windows open with no white noise to cover the sounds of the street... but still, I'm not really used to any sounds in the street. Sometimes the stimulation of sights, sounds, smells and people can be overwhelming. There are times when you need to just put headphones in, utilize soft focus, and get home asap to decompress. But most of the time, I find the city... inspiring. Exhilarating. Breathtaking. And I can't believe I'm already at the halfway point of this stay. I feel like I still have so far to go in my learning. Something interesting that I've found out about myself is how much I define myself by the Midwest when I'm away from it. My culture is like an armor that assumes everything from the way I enter an unfamiliar room to the way I perform on stage. Its not an armor I need to even wear at home, but when I'm away it feels like I've polished it, reinforced its hinges, and labeled its tags with my first and last name. However, this armor is stoic, apologetic, polite and passive... and these traits don't even define the extent of my beautiful wonderful home and community... and they certainly don't protect me here. But, as I mentioned last blog, Stella Adler's belief is that growth of an actor is synonymous with growth of a human being. I wouldn't call my classes therapy by any means, but they certainly foster a heightened awareness of our surroundings, ourselves, others and without judgement - which should be an immediate cause of growth in humanity and overall understanding. A professor once told me that "you can't be inhibited to pursue this career." I understood that message to refer to inhibiting ourselves by the choices we make - from where you live to who you talk to. Who knew inhibitions could actually come from what makes you - you? My scene study class is particularly good at helping me to remove my armor, piece by piece, in pursuit of a truthful story.

Speaking of which, its been an incredible few weeks and I have a few good stories already. However, I'm just gonna outline it below:

Top Ten Things I've Learned About NYC (So Far) (That I Can Think Of Right Now)

1. When in doubt, stay away from Times Square. 
Unless you're headed to a Broadway show.

2. When traveling in large groups, wear comfortable shoes and plan for twenty extra minutes of travel time or so.
Unless you all plan on sprinting. Through Times Square of course. Actually, maybe you should do that just once, to know what its like.

3. Pack your lunch and eat in the park.
And there's always a beautiful park nearby. Or at least a bench

4. Google Maps is your new bff.
Sorry friends.

5. Always have something to read on the subway.
Staring at your knees or the ads can get really tiring.

6. You don't have to acknowledge every person who talks to you.
Sounds cold, but... its just better that way.

7. There is more to NYC coffee than Starbucks.

Two words. Stump. Town. 

8. You aren't actually expected to answer the question, "Hi, how are you?" 

The polite response is to simply repeat it back. My doorman looks very confused any time I actually respond. Life moves faster than that here. 

9. New Yorkers aren't rude or pushy. 

Times Square tourists are usually just slow and oblivious. 

10. Always carry an umbrella. 

Yup. 

 

*edit* This post was written sever weeks ago - just getting around to sharing it. Three weeks left of my stay here. God, this summer has flown. 

Coffee and Cream

Are you ready to sacrifice

who you are

for what you will become?

-Eric Thomas

To say the least, it has certainly been a thrilling three weeks. ALREADY three weeks?! This studio truly lives by its belief that "Growth as an actor and growth as a human being are synonymous." In both cases, I have learned that I have a ways to go. 

Summer Conservatory Group "Best"

My Summer Schedule:

Movement 

Voice and Speech

Script Interpretation

Scene Study

Adler Technique 

Shakespeare

Improvisation

Acting for Film and Television

My favorite classes are Adler Technique, Scene Study and Acting for Film/TV. These classes have really exposed my weaknesses as an actor (and person) in surprising and cathartic ways. I equally struggle with being too guarded and too apologetic - possibly partly due to my stoic and overly polite Midwestern roots... but mostly I think its just me. And it is a part of me I'm finding surprisingly difficult to sacrifice in order to grow. 

You would think vulnerability wouldn't be so hard to come by in a group as supportive as mine - but I'm sure I'll get there. I take every class (except for Film/TV) with the same fifteen students with roots sprinkled all over the country and globe. With students from Russia, China, Australia, Sweden, Peru, Italy and the US, we're pretty sure we have the most diverse group. 

NYC is a magical wonderful city. I got to start out my time here with my incredible friend Anne and her adorable puppy Jax. For any other NYC newcomers who plan on moving here, I highly recommend starting out this way (with a friend). I was so overwhelmed trying to choose an apartment from hundreds of miles away. Most subletters like to meet in person before handing over the keys and contract. But there's new listings every day (especially on Gypsy Housing, which is specifically for people in the performance industry) and its not hard to find something once you are here. I got especially lucky as I'm now in a place in Astoria, Queens - connected with friends of Janette and Joe. (Thank you!!) Its beautiful, comfortable and quiet and my roommates are very sweet. And a few blocks away, I can find Katelynn (from SoDak) and one of my Stella classmates.  I feel right at home in "Actoria." This apartment has actually been nicknamed the "House of Actor Dreams" just because so many artists have been in and out working on projects throughout the last however many years. Feels good to be a part of that. 

Also, this town is traditionally Greek, so I'm super stoked about the food. 

When I'm not in classes, I'm either rehearsing with scene partners, reading plays for class, exploring the city, or seeing a show. So far, I have seen The Tempest, The Two Gentlemen of Verona, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, and On the Town. 

Other life updates: I don't put sugar in my coffee as often (Stumptown is the BEST) and I part my hair on the other side. Crazy. I know. 

I hope all my friends from home are doing spectacularly! Miss you oodles and thank you SO MUCH for continually supporting me. Love you. -Debz

Summer in the City

One year ago I was writing from Italy. Less then 24 hours after landing from that trip, I moved into an apartment with two of my dearest friends. Since then, I began a year of teaching at Dance Gallery, my siblings vacationed in Northern California, my perspective grew from the show Two Rooms, I completed my English Portfolio and Colloquium, experienced DC for the first time, toured with University Singers and competed at KCACTF for the last time, graduated, began working four new jobs, performed, grew from and made friends through two shows with Sioux Empire Community Theater, and moved out of my apartment. My family and friends have experienced enough highs and lows in the last twelve months to make it feel like it's been six years instead of one. 

And now here I am, sitting in Chicago O'Hare, waiting to board a plane to my next adventure. One girl, two carry-on bags and ten weeks studying at Stella Adler Summer Conservatory in NYC. 

This is going to be a summer of learning to trust my heart and my God as I have no clue what's to come. I'm equally terrified that I'll either come home totally changed or that I won't change at all. Does that even make sense? 

Uh oh. It's time to board. Stay tuned! 

All my love,

Debzilla

And PS: Yes, ten weeks in two carry-on bags is rather difficult, but I pride myself on under packing. Though I can't guarantee it'll go the same way back home. ;)