Noises On

Prepare thyselves, friends. I'm about to blog like a mad woman.

New York City has an energy unlike any place I have ever been. There's constant stimulation, no matter where you are. The city that never sleeps. I feel so lucky now to be living in a very quiet neighborhood in Queens, but my first two weeks in Manhattan I simply couldn't sleep through the night. Granted it doesn't help that I kept my windows open with no white noise to cover the sounds of the street... but still, I'm not really used to any sounds in the street. Sometimes the stimulation of sights, sounds, smells and people can be overwhelming. There are times when you need to just put headphones in, utilize soft focus, and get home asap to decompress. But most of the time, I find the city... inspiring. Exhilarating. Breathtaking. And I can't believe I'm already at the halfway point of this stay. I feel like I still have so far to go in my learning. Something interesting that I've found out about myself is how much I define myself by the Midwest when I'm away from it. My culture is like an armor that assumes everything from the way I enter an unfamiliar room to the way I perform on stage. Its not an armor I need to even wear at home, but when I'm away it feels like I've polished it, reinforced its hinges, and labeled its tags with my first and last name. However, this armor is stoic, apologetic, polite and passive... and these traits don't even define the extent of my beautiful wonderful home and community... and they certainly don't protect me here. But, as I mentioned last blog, Stella Adler's belief is that growth of an actor is synonymous with growth of a human being. I wouldn't call my classes therapy by any means, but they certainly foster a heightened awareness of our surroundings, ourselves, others and without judgement - which should be an immediate cause of growth in humanity and overall understanding. A professor once told me that "you can't be inhibited to pursue this career." I understood that message to refer to inhibiting ourselves by the choices we make - from where you live to who you talk to. Who knew inhibitions could actually come from what makes you - you? My scene study class is particularly good at helping me to remove my armor, piece by piece, in pursuit of a truthful story.

Speaking of which, its been an incredible few weeks and I have a few good stories already. However, I'm just gonna outline it below:

Top Ten Things I've Learned About NYC (So Far) (That I Can Think Of Right Now)

1. When in doubt, stay away from Times Square. 
Unless you're headed to a Broadway show.

2. When traveling in large groups, wear comfortable shoes and plan for twenty extra minutes of travel time or so.
Unless you all plan on sprinting. Through Times Square of course. Actually, maybe you should do that just once, to know what its like.

3. Pack your lunch and eat in the park.
And there's always a beautiful park nearby. Or at least a bench

4. Google Maps is your new bff.
Sorry friends.

5. Always have something to read on the subway.
Staring at your knees or the ads can get really tiring.

6. You don't have to acknowledge every person who talks to you.
Sounds cold, but... its just better that way.

7. There is more to NYC coffee than Starbucks.

Two words. Stump. Town. 

8. You aren't actually expected to answer the question, "Hi, how are you?" 

The polite response is to simply repeat it back. My doorman looks very confused any time I actually respond. Life moves faster than that here. 

9. New Yorkers aren't rude or pushy. 

Times Square tourists are usually just slow and oblivious. 

10. Always carry an umbrella. 

Yup. 

 

*edit* This post was written sever weeks ago - just getting around to sharing it. Three weeks left of my stay here. God, this summer has flown. 

Coffee and Cream

Are you ready to sacrifice

who you are

for what you will become?

-Eric Thomas

To say the least, it has certainly been a thrilling three weeks. ALREADY three weeks?! This studio truly lives by its belief that "Growth as an actor and growth as a human being are synonymous." In both cases, I have learned that I have a ways to go. 

Summer Conservatory Group "Best"

My Summer Schedule:

Movement 

Voice and Speech

Script Interpretation

Scene Study

Adler Technique 

Shakespeare

Improvisation

Acting for Film and Television

My favorite classes are Adler Technique, Scene Study and Acting for Film/TV. These classes have really exposed my weaknesses as an actor (and person) in surprising and cathartic ways. I equally struggle with being too guarded and too apologetic - possibly partly due to my stoic and overly polite Midwestern roots... but mostly I think its just me. And it is a part of me I'm finding surprisingly difficult to sacrifice in order to grow. 

You would think vulnerability wouldn't be so hard to come by in a group as supportive as mine - but I'm sure I'll get there. I take every class (except for Film/TV) with the same fifteen students with roots sprinkled all over the country and globe. With students from Russia, China, Australia, Sweden, Peru, Italy and the US, we're pretty sure we have the most diverse group. 

NYC is a magical wonderful city. I got to start out my time here with my incredible friend Anne and her adorable puppy Jax. For any other NYC newcomers who plan on moving here, I highly recommend starting out this way (with a friend). I was so overwhelmed trying to choose an apartment from hundreds of miles away. Most subletters like to meet in person before handing over the keys and contract. But there's new listings every day (especially on Gypsy Housing, which is specifically for people in the performance industry) and its not hard to find something once you are here. I got especially lucky as I'm now in a place in Astoria, Queens - connected with friends of Janette and Joe. (Thank you!!) Its beautiful, comfortable and quiet and my roommates are very sweet. And a few blocks away, I can find Katelynn (from SoDak) and one of my Stella classmates.  I feel right at home in "Actoria." This apartment has actually been nicknamed the "House of Actor Dreams" just because so many artists have been in and out working on projects throughout the last however many years. Feels good to be a part of that. 

Also, this town is traditionally Greek, so I'm super stoked about the food. 

When I'm not in classes, I'm either rehearsing with scene partners, reading plays for class, exploring the city, or seeing a show. So far, I have seen The Tempest, The Two Gentlemen of Verona, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, and On the Town. 

Other life updates: I don't put sugar in my coffee as often (Stumptown is the BEST) and I part my hair on the other side. Crazy. I know. 

I hope all my friends from home are doing spectacularly! Miss you oodles and thank you SO MUCH for continually supporting me. Love you. -Debz

Summer in the City

One year ago I was writing from Italy. Less then 24 hours after landing from that trip, I moved into an apartment with two of my dearest friends. Since then, I began a year of teaching at Dance Gallery, my siblings vacationed in Northern California, my perspective grew from the show Two Rooms, I completed my English Portfolio and Colloquium, experienced DC for the first time, toured with University Singers and competed at KCACTF for the last time, graduated, began working four new jobs, performed, grew from and made friends through two shows with Sioux Empire Community Theater, and moved out of my apartment. My family and friends have experienced enough highs and lows in the last twelve months to make it feel like it's been six years instead of one. 

And now here I am, sitting in Chicago O'Hare, waiting to board a plane to my next adventure. One girl, two carry-on bags and ten weeks studying at Stella Adler Summer Conservatory in NYC. 

This is going to be a summer of learning to trust my heart and my God as I have no clue what's to come. I'm equally terrified that I'll either come home totally changed or that I won't change at all. Does that even make sense? 

Uh oh. It's time to board. Stay tuned! 

All my love,

Debzilla

And PS: Yes, ten weeks in two carry-on bags is rather difficult, but I pride myself on under packing. Though I can't guarantee it'll go the same way back home. ;) 

Night Lights

From my experience, I feel like cities in Europe can't be truly appreciated until they are experienced at night. The youths of Italians (and when I say youths, I mean anywhere between ages 18-30something) gather nightly in the piazzas (squares) and sit around the fountains and talk and drink and eat gelato. Someone told me, "its like there's a nightly block party in Italy!" And they are so right. Our last night in Rome, a few of us ventured out to experience the sights under the sparkle of night. Parks do not close at night and there aren't open container laws. Not because Italians like to get crunk, but because community is such a vital aspect of their culture. Around the dinner table and the fountains, Italians devote their daily lives to each other. Its definitely one of the things I appreciate most about Italian culture. One of those things that we are unfortunately lacking in America.

So, as a tribute to our last night in Rome and as a general means of kicking off our tour, a few of us ventured towards a nearby square, casually passing the Colliseum along our way. Its silently beautiful resilience gracefully replaced the dusty hot crowds we had witnessed earlier in the day. A warm yellow Italian moon shone brightly above it.

When we arrived at the square, it was fairly intimidating. According to Elizabeth Gilbert, Italians keep the same group of friends from grade school through adulthood. Walking into that square full of happy Italians speaking in Italian separated into their lifelong cliques... well, it felt like walking into a lunchroom as a transfer student in the 7th grade, I'm sure. After getting enough courage to have some discouraging chit chat with some American freshman fratboy smoking a Cuban cigar, we gave up our attempts to be Italian-square-cool, hopped in a taxi and headed toward the Trevi Fountain.

TIP: Trevi Fountain at night is a must see!

Like the Coliseum, it was a beautiful Italian image, all lit up and sparkling at night and was a peaceful comparison to the crazy crowds from earlier. This was the first time I felt truly relaxed on our journey (though I became a semi-pro by the end of the trip). It felt like magic. We had a long and beautiful conversation with an Asian Australian couple about everything from style to theology before we hopped in another cab towards our hotel and said goodbye to Rome.

Buonanotte and I hope you enjoy these slowly pieced together legs of our journey.

When in Rome...

...say "buon giorno" to the Pope!

Wednesday, May 21st

Today, we got up early to hit up the Vatican for the Papal Audience. TIP: They hand out tickets like free candy, but that doesn't mean that you have a spot saved. Get there early, so you can snag a chair by the fence. The Pope will drive by the fence once or twice, smiling and waving and who knows? Maybe it'll be your baby he'll stop to kiss, or your hand he'll high five. Once he makes it to the steps of the church, every pilgrimage group is announced and welcomed in every language represented. This takes about an hour. Then, the Pope will give his address. First, he reads it, then he thanks his peeps. Then it is translated.  Then he thanks his peeps. And the address is translated again and again, language by language. This takes a little over an hour. We left after it was translated in English, to beat the crowds for lunch (always a good choice). However, the ceremony ends with the Our Father in Italian (or Latin? - Obviously, I wasn't there - which now that I think about is kind of sad). For the prior Popes, this service usually took place in an auditorium that seats 2000. However, Pope Francis is so popular, they do it on the steps of the church, to make way for the hundreds of thousands that gather weekly. The crowds were overwhelming. More on that later. The address itself was beautiful. I have included the translation because I can that's why:

Dear Brothers and Sisters: In our continuing catechesis on the seven gifts of the "Holy Spirit, we now consider the gift of knowledge. Through this spiritual gift, we are enabled to see every person, and the world around us, in the light of God's loving plan. In a sense, we see the beauty, harmony and goodness of all creation with the eyes of God its maker. As is clear from the lives of Saint Francis of Assisi and so many other saints, the gift of knowledge gives rise to grateful contemplation of the world of nature and joyful praise of the Creator. The perspective given by this spiritual gift leads us to respect God's gift of creation and to exercise wise stewardship of its resources for the benefit of the whole human family. It also prevents us from restricting our vision to the persons and things of this world alone, forgetting that in their order, value and beauty they point beyond themselves to God, their source and ultimate end. Let us ask the Holy Spirit to help us grow in the knowledge which enables us to perceive the love with which God guides the world, to respond with gratitude and to praise him for his infinite goodness and love."
http://www.news.va/en/news/general-audience-21-may-2014

This was relevant and striking to me because A) hello - I'm in college. Acquiring knowledge is kinda my thing right now. Also, B) in the Vatican Museum, we saw Raphael's Rooms and one in particular related to the sermon. Our tour guide told us that the walls of The Room of the Segnatura, (which had once been a library), were painted (by Raphael) to represent the sides of knowledge. Google tells me its actually the sides of the human spirit. But perhaps they are one and the same. Raphael represents Truth, Good and Beauty through scenes of Philosophy, Theology and Justice. Whatever. I found new understanding of the sermon through them.

At the end of the tour, we stepped inside the Sisteen Chapel. You know, that one that Michealangelo painted as though gravity didn't exist? And I was so excited. And it was so beautiful. And I still can't believe I saw it in person. And that it was one person painted it so so long ago. And I now understand all the hype about lapis lazuli. And I was so looking forward to a moment of silent reverence.

But tourists suck.

And I KNOW I'm a tourist too. So I guess we suck. But still. It is probably more of a societal problem than an individual's problem, because this is how it is everywhere. Nationalities intermix and gather to experience a bit of the world we should all have ownership of as human beings, and instead we just can't respect each other because we get overstimulated and shut everyone out, talking loudly as though we're the only people in the world. When the Pope gave his address in Italian, all of the Americans talked like nothing was going on - just tuned it out and snapped one hundred pictures. When the sermon was in English, the Italians spoke loudly and snapped their own pictures (perhaps to get back at us). And when everyone enters the Sisteen chapel, after ceaseless warnings about having to be quiet and not being allowed to take pictures in there, everyone still pushed and shoved and talked like it was 4th grade recess. And what is this societal obsession with having to take pictures of everything always anyway? No one cares if you got a hundred pictures of the Pope. You were not even looking at the man because you were too busy trying to balance the camera higher than the rest of people shooting their arms up in the air. It is like their lives depend on being one of the hundreds of thousands of people to get to take a picture of him today. I could barely see him for the arms. Like I said - I don't judge the individuals. It is a societal problem. But part of that problem is that people's obsession with documenting experiences end up highly detracting from the experiences of others (if you come to hear the Papal Audience, you should be able to hear and see the Papal Audience). We do all have ownership of this world, but it must be ownership in a way that connects us.

Ok, there is my rant. I just hate crowds (introvert). But I guess that's what I get for visiting a place that is just so unabashedly amazing.

Anyway. There are extreme perks to being a part of a touring choir. Tonight, we sang in literally the MOST BEAUTIFUL church I have ever been in in my life. You may have heard of it. Saint Peter's Basilica? Yeah. That one. Though Pope Francis didn't end up making it to this Mass, we still had an incredible experience. We sat in the choir section, which is near the front of the church and which is also the most beautiful part. General visitors are not allowed that close - and I believe they have to pay to visit. I almost cried at least ten times. And I'm a pretty stoic person when it comes to things like this. That's how beautiful it was. And Saint Peter is literally buried underneath it. How cool is that? The literal rock of the Christian Church. And there's the Pieta of course. Wow. Michelangelo actually did these things. And they are right where I was standing. I'm not much of a materialist most of the time, but seeing these amazing pieces of history... it physically changed me.

Buon giorno!

The school year has come to a close, research papers are completed, many of my friends have graduated, and I've started rehearsal for my summer job at Bare Bodkins Shakespeare Company. However my life is on hold for a moment, giving way to music, worship, and tasty deliciousness. The University of Sioux Falls Concert Chorale has arrived in Italy.

To prepare myself for these adventures, I've been rereading Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love. And I found the following excerpt particularly relative to my travel experiences. The first line of the chapter is, "Truthfully, I'm not the best traveler in the world" (Gilbert, pg. 40). It is a shocking start for the reader who is thus far under the impression that this world renowned traveler and writer would have it all together. She admits her "faults" as a traveler - she often doesn't do any research prior to traveling, she lacks an internal compass, her stomach is not of steel, and she has a tendency to appear flustered when she is flustered.

Some of these faults I share - particularly in the research department. I try to cover this fault up with the face for adventure, but really I'm just kind of lazy/busy. Though I love adventure anyway - don't get me wrong! But it was nice to hear these "faults" from a fellow world traveler. My mistakes often happen to cost money. At least I've ever repeated one of these specific mistakes, per say (I think) - it just turns out that there's a lot of opportunity to make new mistakes. Who knew?

For example. TIP: When the prices for fish or steak on a European menu appear too good to be true, they are. If the fish says it costs six euros, it doesn't mean that you only get to pay six euros. It probably more likely means that you get to pay six euros per gram. Don't let your empty stomach and that spirit of adventure fool you. Woops.

But I don't let myself get upset about things like that anymore (at least not for more than an hour). You can't let small mishaps ruin a day, or even a week, when you're having an adventure (called LIFE). Pretty much I just pay the bill, learn the lesson, and move on. Also, TIP: When in doubt, just order the pizza. 

Anyway. My favorite part of the chapter of Eat, Pray, Love was what Gilbert said after she listed all her faults:

"Still despite all this, traveling is the great true love of my life. I have always felt...that to travel is worth any cost or sacrifice. I feel about travel the way a happy new mother feels about her impossible, colicky, restless newborn baby--I just don't care what it puts me through. Because I adore it. Because it's mine Because it looks exactly like me." (Gilbert, pg. 41)

I didn't realize until I read it that that's exactly how I feel about travel. You may have noticed that I have a small case of wanderlust. However, I take it one step further. Travel (and maybe this could still be compared to a baby - I wouldn't know) has not only taught me incredible things about myself, but also about the world. A few of the people I'm traveling with are first time pond crossers. Though we've only been here a day, its been cool to see these people confront the world in an entirely different culture than their own. I didn't even realize how much I've picked up in my travels by way of knowledge about etiquette, history, and language until I found myself answering questions, telling stories and simply enacting the things I've learned for them.

But the biggest thing I've learned is how little I truly will never ever know. Also, I've learned that tour groups are awesome (thanks, Dr. D-K!). Yay not having to plan things!

Today, we were given an introductory walking tour of Rome. We threw coins in the Trevi Fountain, saw the Egyptian Sun Dial, basked in the beauty of the Pantheon, ate the best bruschetta (pronounced: brew-skeh-tah), and generally stuffed our faces with pasta, beef, potatoes, mutton, panna cotta, and wine (OH the wine!). I tried to show off my knowledge of Italian goodness and introduce my friends to the glories of Italian hot chocolate (cioccolata calda - nectar of the GODS), but apparently its out of season. I guess it is summer in the rest of the world. Maybe South Dakota will catch up while we're gone. We had amazing and worldly dinner conversations and Dannika and I practiced our Italian (and she her Spanish) with the locals. Despite my fish failure, I'd call it an over all successful day. I am so happy to be here. I also brought my devotional book. This trip will not only refresh my spirit of adventure, but also my spirit in the Lord.

Ciao, bella!

Post-Study-Abroad-Culture-Shock-Syndrome

“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.” 
― Robert Frost

Pay close attention to the "real feel" temperature."

I've officially been home for one month now and it's been a whirlwind of transition. At this moment, as South Dakota's temperatures have met near record lows (note the "real feel" temperature in the photo to the left), I'm missing sunny Greece more than ever.

The month before leaving Greece, I started to get really hyped up about dealing with the post-abroad-culture-shock. I tried to prepare myself in every way possible: telling myself what it would be like, talking about it, scheduling future coffee dates with friends, researching coping strategies, and reading other blogs. But in the end, it was simultaneously smoother and more shocking than I could have expected.

On the one hand, South Dakota has been my home my entire life. My body knows what it is like to live here. The cold was not much of an adjustment for me. The culture here is everything I have grown up with. My first trip back to Walmart was just like my last trip to Walmart. Whatever. But on the other hand, everything has a slight different color. The taste in my mouth is off.

My second day home, I stopped at a friend's house for a cup of coffee and to see a couple people. Everyone was very sweet, asking me to teach them a few Greek words and what it was like being back. But it wasn't long until our faces became glued to a Facebook newsfeed. Conversation turned to everything I've missed since I've been gone. It suddenly overwhelmingly felt like I never went to Greece, but like I had rather been in a coma for 4 months. I began to grasp what this particular brand culture shock would be like and I actually started to cry a little bit. We didn't talk about it though - I couldn't unscramble what was going on in my head. The next day, I went home to my parent's house for Christmas where I got wrapped up in preparing for the holidays and didn't really touch the subject of Greece again. Every other coffee date following felt like an investigation on my part to discover what all had happened since I'd been in my abroad adventures/undead coma. My friends aren't the same and I'm not the same. I dyed my hair blonde to try mirror my internal changes. Probably a horrible decision on my part, but whatever. It could be a limb.

Family Christmas. :)
Me - Matt - Liz

I had my first day back at school today and though I'm super stoked to see my friends, there is a part of me that still feels a little lost. I keep wanting to ask people how their summer was - as though Fall semester at USF didn't happen. But it definitely happened. Without me. Which is ok. Probably the best and worst way in which I changed from my time in Greece was the realization of how incredibly small I am. In my perspective, in my endeavors, even in my size (if we're looking at like, the universe I mean). I say the "worst" not because it is a bad thing, but only because it is hard, you know - letting go of one's ego. Even though it's for the better. The only negative result is that I'm finding it a little more difficult to relate to people at the moment. But I'm sure that will pass soon, once everything gets back in full swing. My roommate tells me I'm much more mature than I used to be. Another friend said I'm much more "Zen." Perhaps the two go hand in hand.

Anna and I on our last plane home.

But I'm all settled in my new lovely little apartment in which I have a comfortable bed (FINALLY) and lots of personal space, kitchen utensils, and quiet time. After living out of a suitcase for three and a half months, I've been learning a lot more about how much we actually need. TIP: It's not a whole lot. And makes moving/cleaning/organizing much easier then it has been in the past. However, I'm still struggling to simplify my daily life quite as much. I forgot how scheduled everything in the States is! Even on days when I only have a couple of errands to run, the pressure of time still makes me grind my teeth and that "Zen" quality is slowly being chipped away. No idea why that is, but I've started doing Yoga. Thanks, America.

*twenty four hours later*

First day touring with University Singers and it was great! Though it was weird to walk around campus later and not be recognized or know who people were. Trust me - it's a very small school to not recognize others in... though I'm sure the new hair color doesn't help much. People assume I'm a transfer student. :) However, in general, things are going much more in the up and up. But I still think it's important to share what I wrote yesterday as a resource for what post-study-abroad-culture-shock-syndrome can feel like. TIP: I'm told the best way of coping is by writing about it and talking about it. Again, I thank you all so much for reading! Perhaps I'll get around to sharing my experiences from Turkey and Epidaurus someday - I really hope I do. But for now, I'm back in the theater and choir and preparing for KCACTF and the Spring Semester. Started a new book with my sibling book club and planning on going home to see my parents much more often this semester. Things are really looking quite good. :)

All my love,
Debbi

PS: My friend Mariah made a video collage of studying abroad from her perspective. She's got some gorgeous footage if you're interested!